Back in June, I wrote about Father’s Day and how, when our son was young and after we had celebrated Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, and Grandparents’ Day, he asked, “When do we have Kids’ Day?”There was no answer back then, so we created a pop-up kids’ day just for him. It was a floating holiday, one of surprise, when we would just plan a special event or series of activities just for fun and just for him. Because he was, in truth, our pride and joy, we called it Aaron’s Day. And he ALWAYS appreciated whatever nonsense we devised to surprise him on his day.
In 2018, teacher and mother Jill Nico created National Sons’ Day on March 4 to celebrate the significance of raising sons and to promote meaningful conversations and interactions between parents and their sons. She chose March 4 because it seemed aligned well with spring sports and outdoor activities. But a little later, social media popularized another date for Sons’ Day on September 28, no doubt because it was closer to the already established National Daughters’ Day on September 25.
It should be noted that both days had their roots in the 1990’s “bring your daughters to work day,” which later broadened into a greater family awareness of the need to promote the interests of and communication with all children in a family. It is interesting that Jill Nico’s earlier intention to celebrate sons emphasized traditional male activities and skills: physical activities, sports, gender-specific interests. Gradually, however, the focus shifted to mentorship, character development, intellectual strengths, higher education, and artistic attributes — all encompassing the diverse nature and narrative of sons.
These days, when the welfare of our young men seems so much in concern and is so much discussed, a Sons’ Day is more important than ever. Mental health, emotional well-being, and educational milestones that turn young men into real men, caring and compassionate men — not measures of testosterone levels or cultivation of warrior attitudes— are the foundational traits of the fathers, mentors, and leaders who can champion and protect future generations. The cultural celebration of such traits of character and integrity for young men, most especially for those without fathers or male role models present in their daily lives, is every bit as worthy of celebration as are the unique traits of fathers, mothers, grandparents, teachers, and all those others who get recognized for their important influences. The joy, the pride, the satisfaction, the friendship, the support, the knowledge, and yes, the mature love a son brings to his parents and his family as he grows into a man is a blessing without bounds.
So if you are fortunate enough to have a son, honor him this September Day. If you are distant or estranged, then fix it; the onus for repairing relationships is always on the parent. If you disapprove of his lifestyle, his choices, beliefs, profession, or anything else, put that aside; he doesn’t need your approval, he only needs your love. And if you feel he has slighted you in some way, get over yourself. Life is too short to harbor such trifles.
Tell your son you love him every time you talk or text or write, and on September 28, do something, say something, give something special that will delight and surprise and show him how thankful you are to have him in your life. Granted, as the years go by and boys become men with goals and lives and challenges of their own, it takes more than a toy truck or a trip to the zoo to delight and surprise them. But then again, you’ve known them longer and know them better and, if you’ve been paying attention, should have more clues about how to please them.
I had already begun thinking about something that might be welcome on Sons’ Day this year, especially given that this has been such a very long, very hard year for our little family. Perhaps something silly or funny or maybe even downright extravagant might have been just the thing for our version of “Aaron’s Day” in September. But alas, September is already here.
And he is not.
