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One Thing At A Time, Please!

  Remember all the hype about multi-tasking back in the 1990s and early 2000s?  I certainly do, because I was wearing multiple hats then: I was a writer, publishing articles and books and doing writing workshops; a college professor teaching undergrad and graduate courses; a public speaker, a local reporter, president of the Connecticut Press Club; and a participating member of other community and church organizations. I was also a wife, a corporate wife, with an active personal and corporate social life, and a mother managing a home and household chores and homework and school events. Oh yes, and did I mention that I was taking care of my elderly mother who lived across the country? Honestly, I wore so many hats that it’s a wonder my head didn’t fall off! 

     But I wasn’t the only one. Those busy years set the stage for so many of us to adopt the hype over multi-tasking, even though the very idea of multi-tasking had first emerged along with the development of computers back in the 1960s. In fact, the word “multitask” was first published in an IBM paper describing the capabilities of the IBM System/360 in 1965. The term referred to the concurrent execution of multiple programs or tasks on a single CPU (central processing unit); in truth, while the CPU could only really process one instruction at a time, the rapid switching between programs created the illusion of multiple programs actually running simultaneously. 

     In the context of computers, multi-tasking was all about efficiency, productivity and speed. And so it was inevitable that rapid expansions in technology combined with cultural shifts toward a 24/7 work and service environment would eventually bring the promise of time-saving multi-tasking to human endeavors. The advent of social media along with the rising influence of celebrity culture created a “more is better” climate of conspicuous consumption that led to high expectations even among those of us who weren’t necessarily aiming to be “rich and famous.” But a booming economy celebrated wealth, materialism, and images of success just as we women were flooding into the workplace driven by a new determination to “have it all.” 

     Peggy Lee’s song I’m a Woman, became the battle cry for a new generation.. The empowering message for women was that they could have both a successful career and a satisfying personal life if they just figured out the work/life balance.  And the secret to that was … you guessed it … multi-tasking.  By the late 1990s, “multi-tasking” was even touted as a desirable skill on job resumes for both women and men, although women had a distinct advantage having already had a lifetime of practice in the home. Who among us hasn’t talked on the phone while cooking on the stove while setting out dinner dishes while listening for the washing machine to cycle off?

     Human multi-tasking is the concept that we can spread our attention over more than one task or activity at the same time, such as speaking on the phone while driving (or texting a message or scrolling for directions or searching in Spotify), along with eating a donut and drinking coffee. And yes, accidents happen for the same reason as that pot on the stove boils over while you’re on the phone: lack of focused attention. Human beings are not computers; harried homemakers and overworked employees have known that all along, even as they doggedly continue to try to prove themselves superhuman.

     Mountains of research have shown that multi-tasking is mentally and physically stressful for almost everyone. Some (few) people may perform one or two tasks well and be able to shift rapidly between those tasks, but even they overestimate their ability to get more done. Only when tasks become rote and automatic can you effectively perform them without thinking,  and then people become prone to careless errors. And when errors increase, it takes far longer to correct them than it would to have performed the tasks thoughtfully and sequentially in the first place.

     Yet, old habits are hard to break. While we may not wear as many hats and have the same competing personal and professional demands as we age, we can still become overwhelmed by life’s daily choices and struggle against time restraints even when retired. There is always something or someone else demanding our attention, and human beings seem innately compelled to be driven by to-do lists. The myth of the mighty Martha Stewart notwithstanding, we simply cannot do it all, have it all, and be it all to everybody all the time regardless of how many time management tricks we try to employ. Multi-tasking is a ruse. 

     Here’s the thing: life is finite and there are only so many hours in a day, so many days in a week and — roughly 4,000 weeks in a lifetime if you are lucky enough to live to be 80. According to British writer Oliver Burkeman, author of Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals (Farrar, Straus and Giroux, s2021), “…restoring our capacity to live sequentially — that is, focusing on one thing after another, in turn, and enduring the confrontation with our human limitations that this inherently entails — may be among the most crucial skills for thriving in the uncertain, crisis-prone future we all face.” Amen to that!

     I have, of late, been on a quest to simplify my life by eliminating the busyness of my own to-do lists and building safeguards against the interruptions that come my way. I am sooo tired of looking for my glasses because I set them down somewhere silly while distracted, sooo tired of forgetting what I was going to do next because I got derailed by a different request, and sooo tired of being tired because of sleepless nights worrying about what I didn’t get done! So I have begun to consciously and carefully prioritize everything everyday in order to devote my attention to only one thing at a time. It isn’t easy though, because doing only onething at a time means giving yourself permission NOT to care equally, if at all, about other issues and demands in your life. It means learning how to set limits and say NO without guilt or apology.

     I have been cleaning up and clearing out at home for a couple years now, ridding myself of all the things that I used to need for all those roles that I now no longer have: teacher/professor, hostess, club woman, world traveler, reporter, daughter. Since I’m wearing fewer hats these days, I feel somehow encumbered by lots of “stuff,” including clothes and housewares and books, linens and holiday decorations and furniture, all the things I don’t need.  While I still love to cook, I  now plan lighter weekday meals that involve less prep and less time, and while I am still devoted to my fabric art, I no longer chase every juried show or attend every available exhibition.

     Perhaps my biggest effort has been to severely limit interruptions and distractions by monitoring social media, including listening to the news, searching the internet, and even engaging in idle conversations. With few exceptions, I respond to e-mails or texts at a pre-set time rather than whenever they come in; likewise, I rarely, if ever, drop what I’m doing to answer the phone. 

     The good news is that since I’ve been on this quest to sequence and simplify, I feel calmer and more focused and my fears of early Alzheimer’s have all but disappeared. But I have to admit that I can’t claim complete victory over my ambient anxiety yet, since it has taken me all week to get this one post written due to an inability to sustain a block of time to work on it. 

     One project, one thing at a time. Hats off to those of you who can manage it!

4 Comments

  1. floridadiane's avatar
    floridadiane

    Thank you for this. Those of us who have lived frenzied lives, being proud of being able multitaskers, condition ourselves to thinking this is something we can and should sustain all our lives. It’s a shock to learn we can’t without self harm as we age. So thanks for the permission to stop!

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