I have been screaming “Wait!” for almost as many years as I have known my husband. I tell him that one day I will have WAIT engraved on his tombstone (and I will mean it). He is a died-in-the-wool New Yorker, who walks fast, talks fast, and hurries on to the next block, event, task — no matter where we are or what we are about. Initially, in our early marriage (56 years ago), I used to get very upset about the fact that he was always ahead of me, striding along Fifth Avenue in New York, or abandoning me in stores and malls, or even sweeping up the dinner dishes at home while I was still on my last fork full of food. But now, I have gotten used to this hyper sweep. I still scream “Wait,” but I also maintain my own pace, figuring that eventually he will meet up with me again. And if not, I know I can find my own way home. 

     Waiting. It is a national curse. Estimates are that Americans spend 37 billion hours a year just waiting. Can you believe it?!  Actually, if you are one of those who commute, or sit in office waiting rooms, or hold on line for customer service, or stand in security at the airport, or wait in check-outs at the supermarket, you won’t be surprised by that figure. Waiting is a waste of life and an annoying reality for all of us. Waiting; what a waste.

     There are actually studies on waiting, including those on Waitwhile (an on-line appointment scheduling platform) and from queuing theory experts at MIT. (Who knew there were such people?) Anyway, based on average longevity, a person spends approximately five years waiting in lines and queues over a lifetime. In normal daily life, individuals spend roughly 13 hours annually waiting on hold for customer service. Sound familiar? According to the 2025 Urban Mobility Report, the average driver lost 63 hours of road time to traffic congestion in 2024. 

     Personally, I believe that is a conservative figure, considering the amount of traffic congestion I experience here in San Antonio where the entire city, including right where I live, seems to be under construction. The current project to widen a two-lane street to four lanes along the main entrance to my own neighborhood has created a monumental neighborhood back-up every time I want to go out. Some days, the line to get out of my own neighborhood is so bad that I ask myself, “Do I really need to go to this store/shop/appointment today after all?” Even when the answer is yes, I often turn around and come back home.

     I’m not alone in my low threshold of patience. Again, studies show that 70 percent of consumers are only willing to wait a maximum of 18 minutes in a physical line before feeling frustrated; 73 percent of shoppers will abandon a purchase if they have to wait longer than five minutes. I can vouch for that; not long ago, having actually waited more than 20 minutes, I walked away from a cart full of purchases at Target, left it right there in the check-out line. Again, “Do I really need this stuff?” No. Outta’ here.

     Over the years I have been frustrated by long waits at medical offices, particularly when waiting for appointments with my aged mother. Who says a retired person’s time is worth any less than anyone else’s? I’m retired myself now, but even when I wasn’t, I ultimately decided that my time and my schedule was worth as much as any provider’s. So, I established a wait limit for an appointment made in advance at 30 minutes;  after that, I announce, politely, that I am leaving. I still do this though, obviously, if I am being accommodated in an emergency, then that is another story. And I am grateful for the wait.

     To be sure, there are times when waiting is an act of care and compassion: when you accompany someone and wait with them for an appointment or a procedure, for chemo infusion or surgery, for a legal procedure in court or a professional appointment they cannot handle on their own. There are times when you might just choose to sit and wait with a friend or family member who is ill, or frightened, or in need of your presence for consolation. And there are times when waiting is patriotic, such as in the recent political primaries, when you are willing to wait in line to vote because you want your voice to be heard. 

     These are all waiting by choice and hardly a waste of time because you are doing it for a good reason, for someone or something you care about. In such situations, I am reminded of the famous line from a sonnet, “When I Consider How My Life Is Spent,” by 17th century poet John Milton: “They also serve who only stand [sit] and wait.”  In other words, Milton meant that you can serve God and others through patience and acceptance.

     But you don’t serve anyone too well if you lose all your patience, and your self, waiting for stupid stuff — which begs the greater, more important question of what exactly is “stupid stuff?”

Think about it…